Why I hate you guys

I love the Internet, and I love pop culture. But I don’t care much for memes, and I especially can’t stand overused meme phrases. This “you guys” thing really needs to stop. It was annoying when Gabe endlessly used it in Videogum posts, but it was isolated enough to ignore. Now everyone is ending their perfectly crafted tweets and Facebook posts with “you guys” and it’s driving me up the damn wall.

I don’t have anything against catchphrases. You got something you like to say? Good for you! You can own a phrase until you get sick of it. Co-worker Kelly says “Mylanta.” I say “Get outta town” and “Eat my nuts.” We’re not the only people that say these things, but not every hip fuck in America is ending their sentences with them.

I don’t care if you want to be hip. Everyone kind of wants to be hip. But why do you have to be so obvious and annoying about it? Isn’t there some better way you can insert personality into your writing? There is no way you don’t see everyone else you guys-ing up the Internet. Try ending your sentences with something else. I promise people will still think you’re really clever and funny if you actually are those things.

Don’t think I don’t see that “you guys” allows you to mask your boring statement by adding a goofy “I’m addressing everyone on the Internet like they’re my friends!” phrase. The super snooze-worthiness of “My mom made a pie” becomes filled with the cool goofiness of affected childlike excitement in “My mom made a pie, you guys!”

Well, you slippery kids who think no one’s noticed what you’re doing are wrong. At least one person doesn’t think you’re funny or clever. Eat my nuts.